What is anxiety?

Let me tell you what I feel and perhaps you will understand what is ANXIETY Disorder means…

I FEAR for what is going to happen in a few weeks time…

I FEAR of loosing someone precious…

I FEAR of legalization matters…

I FEAR of failure…

I WORRY about just anything relates to me…

I felt WORRY about my action…

I usually…
Apprehension about my future and constantly runs wild in my mind…
Cognitively thinking in terms of dualism…
Easily emotionally towards just anything…
Amazingly poor somatic awareness…

I fear yet I force myself to be bold…
I am bold but I had uncertain fear…

I am happy to be with GOD but I am sad that I am sinful..
I am sad to be sinful but I am happy that I found HIM…

So many things had happen in my life till TODAY. I had been strong for the past 6 months and things just ain’t going right but I am glad that I manage to discipline myself to work on my plan eventhough is it not possible and I will struggle. 6 months already, nothing looks physically improve but virtually things had gotten better.

The others will only judge on its cover and NONE will have the intention to open the cover with open heart and read till the last page. I am keeping this book for myself and I don’t want to share with anyone anymore because I know the others will be hypocrite about my book. This is definitely common among humans.

Will you say..

“Thank you for the wonderful breakfast. I know it’s a hard day for you at work…“
When your last bread is over toasted becomes black and the last sachet of tea mixed with salt instead of sugar.- Husband and wife –

“Good job son, keep up the good work. Target yourself to achieve 1% higher next time.“
When your sales performance for the company only 5% from the gross company revenue and everyone expecting at least the lowest 20% contribution. — Boss and staff –

“Do you need help? Let me think of a way to get your out of your trouble“
When you facing some serious troubles which caused by yourself for your own beneficial and pleasure instead of sharing with your friends. — Friends —

However it’s been a challenge for the past 6 months for me as I manage to settle 1 of the problem with many helps. God bless others so they can bless me in return of my prayers to my Father. I am happy and touched that God really hear me. Although, Father blesses me not in my favorable way, but I had no grudge about it instead I return with a smile. He made me brand new each time he blesses me.

You can call me a jovial person as I love to smile and love to be happy all times when I am with any companion. I believe that my laughter and smile will bring comfort to others. However I actually hired God’s soldier to fight against frustration, stress, depression, anger, jealousy, fear and sadness. When I am solitary at home, I will break down and lay down like a mentally retarded man seeking for comfort.

Today, I lost my faith… I lost my optimism spirit… I lost my personality… I lost everything used to motivate me… I believe it just today and only today. Worries… Responsibility… Commitment… One completed comes a few other challenges which I am not ready for… This type of challenges will never come across my mind and I never thought it really happens to me.

Can I take a day off and wander away from all technology… all communication.. all challenges? Just a day off… ONE DAY to experience YOUR nature creation of this world, Father. A day of just me and You, Lord. You will be with me wherever I am going and You will definitely protect me and guide me.

Please, Father… Please, Father… Just ONE DAY of visit to Your Kingdom, let me experience this and I believe that this visit will change me forever You want me to be.’;’ type=’text/javascript’>